I have come up with the ultimate bad guy!
Oh yes. The Ultimate Bad Guy. He's a guy who gets things done, but also gets things done REALLY HARD. So you take some punishment (I'MOBZING) and you go home and do nothing for weeks. Then you come over and nobody ever comes to your door and tries to help you out.
IT'S SUCH A GOOD THING.
So you get a new job and you're like, "I don't want to do this. I have a THREAT. I would prefer to be alone and meaningless." And you try to help people out, but they keep coming and you can't figure out a solution? Why do you have such an unreliable partner? Why do you keep showing up at my door even though you're set to stay at my door for weeks at a time??
Does he have a problem?
No, but he DOES have a problem.
You know what he does have? He makes racist joke lyrics in his book.
Racist lyrics?
Racist himself, right? He makes them sound really creepy and very gay!
Anyway, I don't want to do this. It's a terrible thing to do! I have a problem.
Don't tell my mom, okay?
Don't tell my mom, okay?