Man, I'm not buying one. I've bought all my years of friendships and then maybe even more years of friendships and now I'm not buying one either!
SOON:
Utahraptor, come quick, I'm bringing you back the Hallowe'en gift!
I'm bringing you back a Hallowe'en gift! Hooray!!
Now, you've probably already guessed what I'm sure will be a very pleasant surprise. A very large Hallowe'en gift!
Is it a trick of the imagination?
No, it's just a special wooden slurry.
T-Rex, I'm afraid that's impossible! I don't imagine a trick of the imagination here.
Come on, tell me!
Alright, well, I -
I draw you a picture of a sleazy real-estate agent, talking to a woman whose name I don't know, and then holding the wrapped envelope up in his arms.
Huh?
It's funny, because he's talking to her. I thought he was talking to the woman who filed the complaint with the police, because if he were I'd be flipping through her mail right now.
LATER:
So... I guess this is the magic number one gift?
You know... the one that, oh no, the police ignored?