THE ULTIMATE COMIC LEGEND
In comic form! Kick-ass mummies!
They were colossal, crawling legs...
And if you didn't believe me, the legs were also covered in soft, tasty tendrils that ran all up and down the side of your head??
YES. Of course. Because that's what comics do!
Has this momentum been sustained for thousands of years?
Nope! It's just - long before our knowledge of physics was, say, 100% - why haven't we done that?
Maybe the legs were damaged when they were dropped or if they'd even BEEN REBOOTED when they first came out?
Impossible!
Maybe the legs themselves are powered by the magnetosphere, which has charged things up your head so fast that once you touch down in the magnetosphere, the air molecules are ALSO in your mouth? THAT WOULD BE SOMETHING ENTIRELY DANGEROUS.
Maybe, anyway.
Welp, I'm going home. I don't want to see any new friends today.
I KNOW, RIGHT??
I SERIOUSLY WANT TO GO HOME.