I am a man who, despite the fact that I have never really been friends with anyone, has totally solidified my position as saying "There's someone you'll need to talk to, if you're ever to stumble upon him."
Seriously, guys: tell me about ME.
I'm a guy who's also a pretty good friend, and ALSO, I'm not even being racist: WAY better than the racist person who trashed my house last night!
But how do you know someone is better than the person you're dating?
I know T-Rex, Dromiceiomimus.
And I'm not even the best person to be dating a person better than I am.
You're not even the best person to have a conversation with on Twitter.
I'm not even the best person to use that as an ad to convince people they're awesome?? I'm the best person to use it as an excuse not to be super awesome too!!
...
Aw FRIG!!