When Shakespeare first spoke to his son, Hamlet, it was as a son asking him to pick a song he'd written for him. It was this song called "The House That Prowled Over Snow" and it was terrible. It was sad. It was pitch black.
The moral of the song was, "You don't know Hamlet".
It turns out Shakespeare had a son, who he said wrote for him. It turns out Hamlet was called "The House That Prowled Over Snow" because the sky was covered in flies.
Shakespeare had a son named "Horned by the Holy Ghost of Christmas".
It turns out that's the moral at play here, Dromiceiomimus!
Or the "You don't know Shakespeare".
Or, actually, both are wrong!
The moral at play is that Hamlet only spoke to his son for a little while, until Hamlet decided to just ignore him and write some better plays. Either that, I think, was Shakespeare's son.
Or, more specifically, that's why Hamlet didn't speak to his son for a while.
MEANWHILE, IN TUDOR ENGLAND!
Shakespeare, you're forgetting something! I'm sorry, Shakespeare!
can't we all just agree that Hamlet is WORST as a story?
Possibly?