"THE STORY OF OATH" - by me, T-Rex
Bruce Dickinson! Bruce Dickinson! He's this big guy with big glasses who goes on these crazy anti-obesity stories all the time. Sometimes he's even super anti-obesity!
Anyway, after a while he starts to suspect that eating too many foods is bad for his energy levels and he goes on a diet. So he eats more and more foods that don't need to be eating, like whole wheat flour, rice flour, and fish flour. It's a recipe for GIANT PUNCHES. His wife and kid come over to cook the meal and he gets so fat she's like "WTF?" and then she eats all the leftover dough and says "You can get some ketchup in the future?"
Then what happens?
Then Bruce eats lettuce, lettuce, and some tomato sauce and then the fries come out of his mouth!
And THE END. Is how it was always intended.
Anyway, Bruce ends up becoming a super hero, which is kind of sad because RIGHT??
Anyway he ends up becoming a bigger part of society, becoming known as "The Patrick Stewart of today" and by that I mean people don't know much about religion right now.
And socially, by popular demand!
Demand! So society gets stronger and stronger!
We, as a people, are going to have to live with our personal bests.
THE END