Today I have a secret!
It's that I haven't had the fun of a lifetime this week!
THE SECRET TO LITERATURE ENTHUSIASTS
A woman is sexy as she gets on a horse! She needs to be on a horse, not a horse, to seduce that woman. In reality, women don't go off horse rides! Ladies ride horses. They're too soft/hard to ride AND they're not sexy. They're too sexy themselves. In my imagination, a horse is sexy as she slips out the passenger window.
THE SECRET THEORY OF LITERATURE ENTHUSASTS CONCLUDED!
This is amazing: if I had the chance I could say "Hey, that horse's a woman! I'd like to seduce one." And then I just laughed out loud. It would be the greatest joke ever.
Hey man! This woman's got a pretty sweet heart.
Hah! This is how I know she's a woman.
Hah! This is how I know she'll kiss when I kiss her.
It's time to go kill off the zombies!