God, come over me whenever you want to eat pie!
OKAY
LET'S DO THIS
UM
ACTUALLY
Okay, here's what I want for Christmas Eve: all I ever wanted is for everyone in the world to come over and eat some pie, and I just told you I was going to make you some new Christmas Eve lace, and I would be leaving some fabric at the front of the pie, and I would be pressing the fabric up against your fleshy backside. I would be writing down your name on the fabric, and I'd attach my name on the fabric too.
So where do I go to get the fabric?
The front!
I believe this is where you'll get the new fabric.
FINE. There's enough fabric there. Rubbermaids has enough fabric there. They're marking your fabric for you, and they want your name on the fabric.
I believe this is where you'll get the new magic!
LATER:
I just hope nobody terrible gets murdered!
RESOLUTION: FOOD IS INCREDIBLY EXTRAVAGENT