HOW TO USE FACEBOOK
Facebook is a cool social network because your parents are on it!
So here's how to get started on Facebook!
First, make an account. If you don't use your real name then Facebook will kick you off the site. If you DO use your real name then Facebook will store all information you give it, even if you delete your account.
It's like buying a book, you can't buy another book.
Like - I'm not writing this down? I'm just relaying this part of my story to you, you know?
So how do you set up a Facebook account?
I don't know! Facebook does this automatically.
Like, say you've bought a book, what have you got? A Facebook ID? Whats the ID you have to register to read this book at a bookstore? Facebook is like the adult company you put on your books if you don't want to. But you can always publish your books yourself! Your Facebook bio will say "I am a Facebook regular who caters to each and every one of my friends!"
CONGRATULATIONS
YOU ARE NOW A FACEBOOK ISLAM
YOU HAVE BEEN SUBMERGED FOR FACEBOOK BY ONE OF THEM